What a waste of human flesh, not to be a whole-hearted lover of someone.
You don't fathom unconditional love until someone actually gives it to you. Or rather... shows it to you. And I don't mean in that Hallmark, heart shaped box-of-chocolates, red roses kind of way.
Unconditional love does not lend itself to the grand gesture. It is buried deep in the rituals of daily life....in the filling, drinking from and washing of your cup.
People with the rare capacity to love unselfishly have the power to change your life in a tremendous way...by seeping into it...in thousands of infintesimally small ones.
The accumulation of tiny acts of grace are far greater than any one day could pay thanks for. Gratefulness too...must be offered up in handfuls...morning, noon and night.
And celebrations themselves are frought with condition and expectations...while unconditional love is the ultimate defier of them.
Unconditional love knows only one word. YES.
Unconditional love is all about yes.
Yes to new friendships and adventures.
Yes to insatiable passions and things you only thought you wanted to try.
Yes to all pursuits of personal growth.
Yes to playing every old record in your collection.
Yes to funky new haircuts and lots of other meaningless physical changes.
Yes to every one of your darkest secrets and your awful truths.
Yes to reaching painful conclusions.
Yes to fits of simultanious laughter and tears when frustration is ripping you in half.
Yes to every minute of lost sleep wondering what else can be done.
Yes to complete stillness and silence when there is no more need for words.
Yes to ALL things spur of the moment.
And most especially, YES to dancing...dancing anywhere and everywhere.
Dancing in the grocery store check-out lane...
dancing at the car wash,
dancing amid the crowd at parent-teacher night...
dancing past the nurse's station on the way to a cat-scan...
Lots and LOTS of dancing.
And yes to everything.
From the one person in my life who has always loved me without condition...I have never asked for anything that I did not receive ten-fold...from both his hands and his wide-open, insanely generous heart.
So when I say I am the friend, wife and lover of Charles...I could not be more serious.
Charles...you have been strangely familiar to me from the instant I first heard your voice... a mystery I have yet to unravel...and fall asleep every night hoping we have enough time to understand.
Thank you baby...on this and every other day, for teaching me how to love a little something about every moment...most especially, the ordinary ones.
14 February 2010
06 February 2010
A Message from My Little Sister
Here's a great letter on the reasons for Universal Health Care, penned by my little sister after she got one of those mass e-mail opposition pieces supposedly from an "E.R doctor" *wink*...
First...Mass E-mail Anti-Universal Coverage Propaganda Piece:
Dear Mr. President:
During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a new cellular telephone equipped with a popular R&B ringtone.
While glancing over her patient chart, I happened to notice that her payer status was listed as "Medicaid"! During my examination of her, the patient informed me that she smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and somehow still has money to buy pretzels and beer.
And, you and our Congress expect me to pay for this woman's health care? I contend that our nation's "health care crisis" is not the result of a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. Rather, it is the result of a "crisis of culture", a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on luxuries and vices while refusing to take care of one's self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance. It is a culture based in the irresponsible credo that "I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me".
Once you fix this "culture crisis" that rewards irresponsibility and dependency, you'll be amazed at how quickly our nation's health care difficulties will disappear.
Respectfully,
STARNER JONES, MD
Her (Kick-ASS) Response:
I can appreciate this Dr.’s point, but would like to make one of my own…
When I support the idea of universal healthcare it has nothing to do with this type of situation. Under our current standards people like this are ALREADY covered BY Medicaid! My sympathy is for the people who are in the same position as I was for ten years (thank heaven I now have insurance since it is offered by my husbands company). I was a mother of two who worked a minimum of 40 hours weekly as a waitress. Of course my job didn’t offer any benefits. Since I was willing to work the government offered me no help at all, and the quotes I was given from insurance companies offering individual plans started at $800 and some odd dollars… a price I simply could not afford. Not because of my multiple tattoos or expensive cell phone. I was paying for my mortgage, electricity, water, gas (of both kinds), car note (Nissan Sentra with no options…hardly extravagant), car insurance as required by law, and food. I lived in constant fear of sickness or injury, knowing that a broken leg would bankrupt me.
The idea of universal healthcare is to take care of those who ARE trying to help themselves. The ones on welfare are getting a free ride already. Instead of recycling all of the negative propaganda put out by the insurance companies… look for yourselves at what other countries have been able to do for their citizens! Anyone who uses the argument that we’ll have to wait hours to see our Dr. has obviously never been to any of the physicians covered by my HMO. I already have at least an hour wait as my Dr. tries to squeeze in as much profit per day as possible. Even when I make to the exam room I still wait at least an addition 20 minutes for him to pop in for about 2 minutes, and push some drug on me without ever bothering to discuss preventative measures with me at all. Could this possibly have something to do with the incentive legally offered to him by the drug companies? And don’t even get me started on the 8 hours I spent waiting for emergency care in the ER over a head injury that wasn’t important enough for them to treat in a timely manner, but required every test in the book once they ran my insurance and discovered the 100% ER coverage that guaranteed payment… after the $100 copay of course. Worried about the increase in your taxes? If you currently pay for insurance you’d be SAVING money. Insurance companies are a FOR PROFIT business! That means that its their job to get more money FROM you than they have to spend ON you. Plus you never have to worry about whether or not you have a “preexisting condition”, or an illness not covered by the policy you thought would protect you. On the other hand, I suppose that the tax increase would end up costing those of you who are now in the same position I was in for most of my adult life. But having been there for so long, I can honestly say it would be worth it.
I hope that you will all consider these points the next time the subject comes up, and that you will do a bit of research on your own before drawing any conclusions. If you have any friends in Argentina, Austria, Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Cuba, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Oman, Portugal, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Spain, Sweden, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Ukraine or the United Kingdom, ask them! If not, get out there and make some new friends! Either way, all I ask is that you go find out for yourselves and quit letting the insurance and drug companies brainwash you… PRETTY PLEASE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm soooo grateful my little sister let me post this...please pass it on....
P.S. To the Dem's & President: GO FOR BROKE! Pass Universal Coverage! The people who don't understand now will thank you later and ...BIG INSURANCE COMPANIES DESERVE TO DIE THE SAME SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH THEY HAVE IMPOSED ON MILLIONS....
First...Mass E-mail Anti-Universal Coverage Propaganda Piece:
Dear Mr. President:
During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a new cellular telephone equipped with a popular R&B ringtone.
While glancing over her patient chart, I happened to notice that her payer status was listed as "Medicaid"! During my examination of her, the patient informed me that she smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and somehow still has money to buy pretzels and beer.
And, you and our Congress expect me to pay for this woman's health care? I contend that our nation's "health care crisis" is not the result of a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. Rather, it is the result of a "crisis of culture", a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on luxuries and vices while refusing to take care of one's self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance. It is a culture based in the irresponsible credo that "I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me".
Once you fix this "culture crisis" that rewards irresponsibility and dependency, you'll be amazed at how quickly our nation's health care difficulties will disappear.
Respectfully,
STARNER JONES, MD
Her (Kick-ASS) Response:
I can appreciate this Dr.’s point, but would like to make one of my own…
When I support the idea of universal healthcare it has nothing to do with this type of situation. Under our current standards people like this are ALREADY covered BY Medicaid! My sympathy is for the people who are in the same position as I was for ten years (thank heaven I now have insurance since it is offered by my husbands company). I was a mother of two who worked a minimum of 40 hours weekly as a waitress. Of course my job didn’t offer any benefits. Since I was willing to work the government offered me no help at all, and the quotes I was given from insurance companies offering individual plans started at $800 and some odd dollars… a price I simply could not afford. Not because of my multiple tattoos or expensive cell phone. I was paying for my mortgage, electricity, water, gas (of both kinds), car note (Nissan Sentra with no options…hardly extravagant), car insurance as required by law, and food. I lived in constant fear of sickness or injury, knowing that a broken leg would bankrupt me.
The idea of universal healthcare is to take care of those who ARE trying to help themselves. The ones on welfare are getting a free ride already. Instead of recycling all of the negative propaganda put out by the insurance companies… look for yourselves at what other countries have been able to do for their citizens! Anyone who uses the argument that we’ll have to wait hours to see our Dr. has obviously never been to any of the physicians covered by my HMO. I already have at least an hour wait as my Dr. tries to squeeze in as much profit per day as possible. Even when I make to the exam room I still wait at least an addition 20 minutes for him to pop in for about 2 minutes, and push some drug on me without ever bothering to discuss preventative measures with me at all. Could this possibly have something to do with the incentive legally offered to him by the drug companies? And don’t even get me started on the 8 hours I spent waiting for emergency care in the ER over a head injury that wasn’t important enough for them to treat in a timely manner, but required every test in the book once they ran my insurance and discovered the 100% ER coverage that guaranteed payment… after the $100 copay of course. Worried about the increase in your taxes? If you currently pay for insurance you’d be SAVING money. Insurance companies are a FOR PROFIT business! That means that its their job to get more money FROM you than they have to spend ON you. Plus you never have to worry about whether or not you have a “preexisting condition”, or an illness not covered by the policy you thought would protect you. On the other hand, I suppose that the tax increase would end up costing those of you who are now in the same position I was in for most of my adult life. But having been there for so long, I can honestly say it would be worth it.
I hope that you will all consider these points the next time the subject comes up, and that you will do a bit of research on your own before drawing any conclusions. If you have any friends in Argentina, Austria, Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Cuba, Costa Rica, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Oman, Portugal, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Spain, Sweden, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Ukraine or the United Kingdom, ask them! If not, get out there and make some new friends! Either way, all I ask is that you go find out for yourselves and quit letting the insurance and drug companies brainwash you… PRETTY PLEASE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm soooo grateful my little sister let me post this...please pass it on....
P.S. To the Dem's & President: GO FOR BROKE! Pass Universal Coverage! The people who don't understand now will thank you later and ...BIG INSURANCE COMPANIES DESERVE TO DIE THE SAME SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH THEY HAVE IMPOSED ON MILLIONS....
31 January 2010
Mr. President, Excusing torture is a deal breaker...
Dear Mr. President,
I am an ordinary American, facing the same set of difficulties a lot of other Americans face today.
The cost of my family's health insurance has more than doubled in the last five years, as well as out of pocket costs. With multiple pre-existing conditions in our home, (testicular cancer, rheumatoid arthritis & respiratory illness) we have amassed considerable debt and remain fearful of losing our insurance altogether.
We see our family, friends and neighbors struggling to make ends meet, some without access to health-care at all. We worry about job-security and are saddened by the inability of our elected representatives to accomplish meaningful reform in a timely, cooperative manner.
These are desperate times, Mr. President...but the struggling economy, sky-rocketing health care costs, and lack of civility in Washington are not what keep me awake at night.
What worries me most, sir, is that America is continuing the practice of indefinate-detention, maintaining black-sites and now openly excusing the practice of torture. And though I am willing to accept a lot of other short-comings where our nation is concerned, this is a deal-breaker for me Mr. President.
It's a deal-breaker because we can talk all we want about the principles and ideals of our country sir, but if we refuse to address our use of torture and indefinate-detention - these are only words and they are MEANINGLESS.
The world is watching us closely now, to see if we have indeed changed our course. The world is waiting to see if we will restore those principles and seek justice for those who have been treated wrongly.
The corrupt endeavors of the previous administration are well documented. Individuals within the Bush White House have stated publically that "threat-levels" were manipulated to exploit the fears of the American people. Others have admitted that Iraq was invaded on false pretenses.
We also know that individuals who once claimed torture was necessary, limited and successful, now admit they were lying. Many of the detainees who were tortured turned out to be completely innocent of any wrong-doing, and have since been released. Others are still waiting for a chance to prove their innocence. How long must THEY wait, Mr. President?
What else is there to do now, sir, but address the illegality and immorality of these practices? If we are to continue declaring ourselves a free nation, a just nation, we must give remaining detainees the same due process we would ANY other prisoner. Our judicial system should be up to this critical task. If it is not, then we can no longer declare ourselves a just nation. And certainly no one is free.
Please, Mr. President, I urge you to call for a Truth Commission to publically address the criminality of torture, and to require individuals of the Bush Administration to answer for their part in these practices.
I realize many of your opponents will claim that such an inquiry is politically motivated. But these same individuals are also the ones who regularly and openly support the practice of torture. This is precisely why we must face them down and require them to publically answer for their part in these crimes.
We can lay no claim to freedom or justice until we see this through. And I do not want to call myself an American anymore if we are unwilling to protect and defend such a fundamental principle of our democracy. It is time to put ALL politics aside, and do what is right.
Sincerely,
Amanda Goode
I am an ordinary American, facing the same set of difficulties a lot of other Americans face today.
The cost of my family's health insurance has more than doubled in the last five years, as well as out of pocket costs. With multiple pre-existing conditions in our home, (testicular cancer, rheumatoid arthritis & respiratory illness) we have amassed considerable debt and remain fearful of losing our insurance altogether.
We see our family, friends and neighbors struggling to make ends meet, some without access to health-care at all. We worry about job-security and are saddened by the inability of our elected representatives to accomplish meaningful reform in a timely, cooperative manner.
These are desperate times, Mr. President...but the struggling economy, sky-rocketing health care costs, and lack of civility in Washington are not what keep me awake at night.
What worries me most, sir, is that America is continuing the practice of indefinate-detention, maintaining black-sites and now openly excusing the practice of torture. And though I am willing to accept a lot of other short-comings where our nation is concerned, this is a deal-breaker for me Mr. President.
It's a deal-breaker because we can talk all we want about the principles and ideals of our country sir, but if we refuse to address our use of torture and indefinate-detention - these are only words and they are MEANINGLESS.
The world is watching us closely now, to see if we have indeed changed our course. The world is waiting to see if we will restore those principles and seek justice for those who have been treated wrongly.
The corrupt endeavors of the previous administration are well documented. Individuals within the Bush White House have stated publically that "threat-levels" were manipulated to exploit the fears of the American people. Others have admitted that Iraq was invaded on false pretenses.
We also know that individuals who once claimed torture was necessary, limited and successful, now admit they were lying. Many of the detainees who were tortured turned out to be completely innocent of any wrong-doing, and have since been released. Others are still waiting for a chance to prove their innocence. How long must THEY wait, Mr. President?
What else is there to do now, sir, but address the illegality and immorality of these practices? If we are to continue declaring ourselves a free nation, a just nation, we must give remaining detainees the same due process we would ANY other prisoner. Our judicial system should be up to this critical task. If it is not, then we can no longer declare ourselves a just nation. And certainly no one is free.
Please, Mr. President, I urge you to call for a Truth Commission to publically address the criminality of torture, and to require individuals of the Bush Administration to answer for their part in these practices.
I realize many of your opponents will claim that such an inquiry is politically motivated. But these same individuals are also the ones who regularly and openly support the practice of torture. This is precisely why we must face them down and require them to publically answer for their part in these crimes.
We can lay no claim to freedom or justice until we see this through. And I do not want to call myself an American anymore if we are unwilling to protect and defend such a fundamental principle of our democracy. It is time to put ALL politics aside, and do what is right.
Sincerely,
Amanda Goode
20 January 2010
Three Kinds of Medicine: A Monologue
The best kind of medicine is the kind that actually cures you. This kind of medicine is extremely rare and very expensive. It is also only available to some people, so if they offer you this kind of medicine - take it. Show up early, wait in line and dance for it. Take it no matter how big the needle is, how long the recouperation or how noticible the scars when it is over.
Take it even if it means you have to sit, chained to a pump for days and days, watching it drip slowly into your veins. Even if the concoction is so venemous it melts everything inside you that isn't tied down. Take it even if it means you have to lay on the tiles of the bathroom floor for months, listening to the sound of the world going on outside, or for a gentle knock at the door.
Take it even if it leaves you nothing but the ability to be grateful for the simplest of things....a cup of warm broth...a saltine cracker...a kind word. Take it because it will make you grateful for these things. And you will be amazed at how good they really are. More filling than steak, sweeter than ice cream, softer than velvet.
The worst kind of medicine is the kind that will only treat your symptoms. This kind of medicine lulls you into a false sense of security and gives you a bunch of new symptoms. New symptoms that require more medicine. This kind of medicine gets offered to everyone. They pass it out like candy at Halloween. We bottle feed it to our babies and spoon feed it to our elders. This kind of medicine is packaged in brightly colored boxes and hand delivered to doorsteps for 19.95 plus shipping and handling.
Guards pass this kind of medicine through iron bars, teachers write it on blackboards, and ministers speak it over shiny gold pulpits just before they pass around the collection plate. Desperate people peddle it on street corners, or shout it from soapboxes or fire it through the barrel of a gun and powerful people put it in textbooks, broadcast it on airwaves or meet behind closed doors and write it into law. And the people who own everything...they just drop it like bombs and spray it from overhead like pesticide. They blanket the fields and mountains with it, or dump it into the oceans and rivers.
But nobody ever escapes this kind of medicine.
The last kind of medicine is the kind they will offer you when all the other kinds of medicine have finally made you so sick that no one can fool you into believing that any medicine will make you well again. This kind of medicine serves only one purpose. This kind of medicine helps you forget. It erodes the memory of all other medicines and their side-effects. It obscures any remaining images of your former self and clouds any reflection of your decay. It erases the lines between you and the cosmos.
So when they offer you this kind of medicine...and they will surely offer you this kind of medicine - REFUSE IT! Hand it back to them and say you've had a long-standing appointment with your pain. Tell them you invited suffering over for dinner and a vicious game of Scrabble. Tell them that you and Death have made plans to flip through the pages of your address book and call old friends...or look through the Rand McNally Atlas together and weep over the beautiful places you always wanted, but somehow never got the chance to visit. Welcome the agony....it will set you free.
Take it even if it means you have to sit, chained to a pump for days and days, watching it drip slowly into your veins. Even if the concoction is so venemous it melts everything inside you that isn't tied down. Take it even if it means you have to lay on the tiles of the bathroom floor for months, listening to the sound of the world going on outside, or for a gentle knock at the door.
Take it even if it leaves you nothing but the ability to be grateful for the simplest of things....a cup of warm broth...a saltine cracker...a kind word. Take it because it will make you grateful for these things. And you will be amazed at how good they really are. More filling than steak, sweeter than ice cream, softer than velvet.
The worst kind of medicine is the kind that will only treat your symptoms. This kind of medicine lulls you into a false sense of security and gives you a bunch of new symptoms. New symptoms that require more medicine. This kind of medicine gets offered to everyone. They pass it out like candy at Halloween. We bottle feed it to our babies and spoon feed it to our elders. This kind of medicine is packaged in brightly colored boxes and hand delivered to doorsteps for 19.95 plus shipping and handling.
Guards pass this kind of medicine through iron bars, teachers write it on blackboards, and ministers speak it over shiny gold pulpits just before they pass around the collection plate. Desperate people peddle it on street corners, or shout it from soapboxes or fire it through the barrel of a gun and powerful people put it in textbooks, broadcast it on airwaves or meet behind closed doors and write it into law. And the people who own everything...they just drop it like bombs and spray it from overhead like pesticide. They blanket the fields and mountains with it, or dump it into the oceans and rivers.
But nobody ever escapes this kind of medicine.
The last kind of medicine is the kind they will offer you when all the other kinds of medicine have finally made you so sick that no one can fool you into believing that any medicine will make you well again. This kind of medicine serves only one purpose. This kind of medicine helps you forget. It erodes the memory of all other medicines and their side-effects. It obscures any remaining images of your former self and clouds any reflection of your decay. It erases the lines between you and the cosmos.
So when they offer you this kind of medicine...and they will surely offer you this kind of medicine - REFUSE IT! Hand it back to them and say you've had a long-standing appointment with your pain. Tell them you invited suffering over for dinner and a vicious game of Scrabble. Tell them that you and Death have made plans to flip through the pages of your address book and call old friends...or look through the Rand McNally Atlas together and weep over the beautiful places you always wanted, but somehow never got the chance to visit. Welcome the agony....it will set you free.
18 January 2010
All the Wrong Fucking Words Are Profane
"The problem with Iraq see..." said the man "...is that they haven't allowed our military to do what needed to be done from the very beginning. Which is turn the entire place into a glass parking lot." And in spite of the afternoon heat of September, my blood went suddenly cold and my entire body shuddered visibly. I should have known better. We were, after all, on his turf. A homeschooler's playgroup, on a League City, Texas playground....really - what the fuck was I thinking?
I can't recall what started it. But from that mind-bending sentance on, all I could think about were the films, articles and first-hand accounts of post-invasion Baghdad. This was not death and destruction enough? But those are all things I am sure to this very day, this man has never bothered to look at or read. Yet here we were...Me: heart-pounding, teeth-clamping to tongue, choking back profanity. Him: unapologetically exhorting complete annihilation, and chuckling about it. "Oh, I'm not saying do it without warning...heh..heh...you know, drop some leaflets. Give 'em three days to pack-up and clear out...then bomb the hell out of it!" Then he just...sort of...shrugged. Yeah. No biggie.
The coffee and milk I chugged in the car now sat churning in my stomach, my palms sweated, and I trembled. I even briefly contemplated leaning over and ever so politely puking on the ground next to our table. I wonder if he would have even noticed? But even if he had, this "Christian" man, I am sure, would have assumed no responsibility in the matter.
Mind you, I actually did know better. I grew up here. I grew up knowing and listening to LOTS of people like this. But one incredible husband, four years of college and ten years in the Pacific Northwest had been enough to detox me from those "formative" years. No way was this conversation a good idea. But times being what they were, I got cocky and thought I could handle it. After all...I had been keeping up with things.
But there's no talking to folks like this, their minds are made up. Their reasoning is inscribed neatly, chapter and verse, on their cold, dead hearts. This is all just part of God's plan...which if not for a few, spineless, godless people like myself, they would have already managed to execute. Fitting word, execute.
The short of it? I stumbled all over myself trying to convince this man...this "Christian" man, he had no claim to the high-ground whilst advocating something so completely immoral. Never mind all the information about Iraq he lacked. But if I had this moment back today, I tell you, I'm almost positive I would just unclench my teeth and free all those curdled profanities. Because they are still hung up in the back of my throat today. "Fuck you, pal." I long to say, each time we nod politely from opposite ends of the playground. "May all our lovely children somehow escape the suffering you so casually invite on the children of Iraq. Heh...heh...yeah...that's right, I said FUCK you!"
What neither of us knew on that sweltering September day was that Hurricane Ike was days away from rearranging the entire landscape around us for miles and miles and miles. And do you know what? That asshole actually had the audacity to complain about it. All the wrong fucking words are profane.
I can't recall what started it. But from that mind-bending sentance on, all I could think about were the films, articles and first-hand accounts of post-invasion Baghdad. This was not death and destruction enough? But those are all things I am sure to this very day, this man has never bothered to look at or read. Yet here we were...Me: heart-pounding, teeth-clamping to tongue, choking back profanity. Him: unapologetically exhorting complete annihilation, and chuckling about it. "Oh, I'm not saying do it without warning...heh..heh...you know, drop some leaflets. Give 'em three days to pack-up and clear out...then bomb the hell out of it!" Then he just...sort of...shrugged. Yeah. No biggie.
The coffee and milk I chugged in the car now sat churning in my stomach, my palms sweated, and I trembled. I even briefly contemplated leaning over and ever so politely puking on the ground next to our table. I wonder if he would have even noticed? But even if he had, this "Christian" man, I am sure, would have assumed no responsibility in the matter.
Mind you, I actually did know better. I grew up here. I grew up knowing and listening to LOTS of people like this. But one incredible husband, four years of college and ten years in the Pacific Northwest had been enough to detox me from those "formative" years. No way was this conversation a good idea. But times being what they were, I got cocky and thought I could handle it. After all...I had been keeping up with things.
But there's no talking to folks like this, their minds are made up. Their reasoning is inscribed neatly, chapter and verse, on their cold, dead hearts. This is all just part of God's plan...which if not for a few, spineless, godless people like myself, they would have already managed to execute. Fitting word, execute.
The short of it? I stumbled all over myself trying to convince this man...this "Christian" man, he had no claim to the high-ground whilst advocating something so completely immoral. Never mind all the information about Iraq he lacked. But if I had this moment back today, I tell you, I'm almost positive I would just unclench my teeth and free all those curdled profanities. Because they are still hung up in the back of my throat today. "Fuck you, pal." I long to say, each time we nod politely from opposite ends of the playground. "May all our lovely children somehow escape the suffering you so casually invite on the children of Iraq. Heh...heh...yeah...that's right, I said FUCK you!"
What neither of us knew on that sweltering September day was that Hurricane Ike was days away from rearranging the entire landscape around us for miles and miles and miles. And do you know what? That asshole actually had the audacity to complain about it. All the wrong fucking words are profane.
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